Many people will be familiar with the scenario. You added photos, wrote an appealing description and double checked everything for spelling mistakes. Hell, you even pretended to like art galleries. But even though it seemed like the perfect dating profile, something went wrong. The fish weren’t taking the bait. Clearly, something was wrong. With millions of people looking for romance online these days, there will be a partner for everyone. If you aren’t succeeding in your quest for love, the culprit is probably a defective dating profile. You might think that you are the Shakespeare of dating profiles, but you’re almost certainly doing something wrong. Take a few tips from the dating experts and you will soon find women queuing up to message you to arrange hook-ups.
First of all, try to take a step back. You may be a great guy, with plenty of accomplishments and good qualities, but be careful not to come across as too self-absorbed. Look at your profile text again. Does it contain “I” in every sentence? If so, this could be very off-putting for the reader.
Having said that, it is a good idea to briefly outline the kind of person you are. Don’t use this as an opportunity to brag about your income or muscles. Try to describe your personality. Are you patient, polite, outgoing or philosophical? Be honest without coming across as introverted. People like to know in advance that potential dates are more than a well-toned set of abs.
Nowadays, you need to be original and creative to stand out from the crowd, so don’t rely on old chestnuts like “long walks on the beach” or “looking for my partner in crime.” Sure, you could use these ironically, but most people will just find them cheesy and annoying, so try to cut back on your cliché usage as much as possible.
Always remember that you aren’t writing a dating profile for yourself. You are writing it to inform other users of the site about your personality, passions and appearance. Concentrate on selling yourself to the kind of user that frequents the site. If you are on adult hook-ups sites like Badults, focus on your fetishes. If you are on mainstream sites, think about aspects of your life that are interesting or reassuring. Ask yourself why the reader should decide to contact you. What is your USP? What makes you the one for them?
The old KISS rule applies to almost any kind of writing, but is particularly relevant to dating profiles. Visitors to your profile don’t want to read an extract from Proust. They are looking for an accessible description that adds context to your photos and is easy to read. So keep your sentences and the text short, and cut out any unnecessary fat.
Everyone has their hobbies and passions. When people browse through dating profiles, they often look closely to see if potential dates have similar interests. So if you love windsurfing or rock climbing, be sure to add it to your profile. It could be the little touch that prompts a gorgeous girl to make contact, and with so much in common, you’ll probably get along well too.
This is incredibly common, and is a big no-no. Many people like to show off their feisty personality and warn time-wasters, haters, “catfish” and the like to stay away. That’s a fine aim, but try to do so politely instead of using huge numbers of capital letters, exclamation marks or curse words. It’s amazing how many dating profiles actually scare casual browsers instead of encouraging them to learn more.
When you create a dating profile, it’s tempting to fabricate qualities and achievements and gloss over anything that might be deemed negative. We’ve all known people whose photos are extremely flattering, or whose income isn’t quite as impressive as their profile suggested. You should never sell yourself short, but don’t lie about who you are. It’s a terrible way to start a relationship, and most readers will see through you. If you have gone through a divorce, or you have kids, don’t be afraid of mentioning it. In fact, admitting these kind of issues can actually increase the number of messages you receive. That’s probably because there are plenty of people in the same boat on dating sites.
This may seem shallow, but dating profiles are really just another form of advert. In marketing, one of the fundamentals is including a “call-to-action” or CTA. This prompts the reader to find out more about the product being sold. Obviously, you aren’t “selling” a product, but there is nothing wrong with nudging readers to “message me to find out more…” or something along those lines.
Always add a section describing who you are looking for. Don’t be too specific about this. You don’t want to exclude most of your profile visitors. Just mention your romantic aims, the kind of commitment level you are seeking and any interests that your partner needs to have – the kind of must-haves that you feel are part of any relationship. In general, dating experts recommend keeping a 70:30 division between talking about yourself and talking about what you are looking for. This sounds about right, so try to strike the right balance.
Now we come onto what many people regard as the core of a great dating profile. It’s true. Without the right photos, even the most meticulously constructed dating profile will probably fall flat. When choosing your portfolio, try to add a range of different images. Choose pictures with your face at different angles, in different locations. Add a hat if needed to create variety. Don’t overload the profile with pictures of you with others, but a couple of group shots with you at the center won’t do any harm. However, always ensure that your profile picture includes you alone. That doesn’t mean taking a cheap selfie. Selfies often look vain and unclear. Try to take a high quality photo that captures your personality. The extra effort will be well worth it. It’s also important to come across as honest. Don’t include photos that were obviously taken years apart, and include both head shots and body shots. Dating site users will be well aware that head shots without a body suggest insecurities about weight or height, so try to be as honest as possible.
Finally, it’s a good idea to proof-read your profile thoroughly. Spelling or grammar mistakes are often a good indication of intelligence, particularly when women are flicking through piles of dating profiles. Keep everything tight, well-written and fluent, and avoid clichés or slang. Using terms like “LOL” or “YOLO” probably won’t cut it either, while emoticons are another big turn-off. Dating isn’t supposed to be hard. It’s probably one of the most enjoyable things we can do, so take the stress out of getting yourself out there by following these simple tips. In no time, your profile will be bombarded with messages.
Image sources Image 1 Fotolia.com - Tverdohlib Image 2 Via Flickr | Amy Selleck | CC BY-SA 2.0 Image 3 Fotolia.com - Vadymvdrobot