Have you ever been sitting in a train or in a park and suddenly, a handsome man walks by? High cheekbones, great trenchcoat and perfectly coiffed. Or maybe the grungey, devil-may-care skaterboy is more your type.
You've always wondered what it might be like to enjoy a romp or two with these objects of your desire. But you've never quite been able to wrap your head around the concept of casual sex. Does it get messy? Can you really keep your heart out of the equation? Does it have to be totally emotionally divest?
The truth is that having casual sex can not only be a really rewarding experience, but it can help you learn more about yourself in the bargain. It doesn't have to be this taboo act that stigmatizes you. Instead, casual sex can be liberating and, when you follow these 8 unconventional tips, you can end things on amicable terms when it's time to move on.
In an effort to try and take "emotion" out of the equation and so save your heart, almost every single guide will tell you to not to get involved with someone who sparks extreme emotion in you, whether good or bad.
But this is a mistake: casual sex doesn't mean that you only have to be with someone who's smoking hot but doesn't intellectually stimulate you. The proverbial cigarette after sex is way better when you can share it someone who drives you absolutely crazy.
So if there's someone who makes you bite your lip in frustration or drive you absolutely mad with their ways, if there's someone who triggers intense, but-gusting laughter or there's someone you can talk to about topics for hours after...it may be the perfect casual sex potential.
Sexually speaking, there are some places that women just can't emotionally bring themselves to go to (or ask their partner to do) when they're having sex with a partner who may have long-term potential. So use casual sex with your boy toy as a way to explore these desires.
If you can make your romps as dirty and kinky as you're both possibly willing to take it, then there's less of a chance you'll make a heart to heart connection. While emotion in casual sex is totally acceptable and even heightens the experience, you still want to keep the carnal act and sheer pleasure at the front of your mind.
Just because you're having casual sex does not mean your standards need to leave the bedroom - or your interactions. You don't need to accept behavior that you from a casual sex partner that you would never accept from a boyfriend or a long-term partner.
Keeping your standards high - as to the way you'd like to be treated and the terms of the arrangement - keeps the control in your hands and adds a level of dignity to a casual sex encounter that is otherwise missing from so many other arrangements where sex is the focus.
Yes, sexual pleasure is very much the reason why both of you are together in the here and now but that doesn't mean you need to accept less simply because you're not asking for "more".
Many women think that an intense connection is either grounds for trouble or the indication that there could be the potential to turn it into something long-term. But the sustainability of a long-term partner versus one who's ideal for casual sex has nothing to do with the intensity of the connection.
Many women think that an intense connection is either grounds for trouble or the indication that there could be the potential to turn it into something long-term. But the sustainability of a long-term partner versus one who's ideal for casual sex has nothing to do with the intensity of the connection. Don't accept someone who doesn't spark you - otherwise, what's the point of enjoying casual sex?
Listen, honey: you have to make sure you get yours. Because, in the end, you're both in it for one thing and one thing only. Sure, you may actually really enjoy each other's company - and all that translates into is great post-coital conversation and maybe another go-around after that.
But you don't have to "make it all about him" and save yours for next time. Nope. A "casual sex" encounter, by its very nature, means that nothing is guaranteed. There may not be a next time so make hay while the sun shines and come as you are - every time.
Discretion is one of the biggest parts of having a classy and dignified casual sex partner, especially if the sex is so great, you plan to see them again and again. Keeping your friends and family out of it means that you don't need to mention to them the details of the person you're having sex with or the nature of your time together.
The other thing to remember is not to bring these people into the conversation either. Yes, you can name drop here and there - "Oh, I can't stay, I've got to go to my friend Sarah's birthday party" - but don't go into detail about your childhood or your cousins. This is the part that you want to keep out, not intensity or emotion.