Dating older men can give you a new perspective on life, and pave the way to life experiences you never thought possible. However, there are certain ways to approach what can be a difficult relationship.
While a relationship with an older guy can be exciting and rewarding, it is not without its potential problems. The age gap WILL play a part in your relationship, and how you deal with it will determine the longevity of your life together.
These do’s and don’ts of dating older men should maximise your chances of enjoying a long and loving relationship with the mature guy of your dreams.
PRO TIP: The age gap between you both will mean you have slightly different interests. However, dating older men should not be viewed as a challenge or something you need to overcome.
Approach this relationship as you would with any other. If it has legs, you probably won’t need to work too hard at it.
The DO'S of dating older men
DO learn from your older man. He has probably learned a great deal about life and relationships over the years, and this knowledge could enhance your life if used correctly.
DO enjoy the fact that men often get better looking as they age. And because there’s a big age difference, you should also revel in the fact that you’re the hot young girlfriend.
DO let him take care of you. Older men are usually more respectful and chivalrous than older guys, and they take great pleasure in treating the women in their lives. Embrace being wined and dined, as it will make him happy.
DO display public demonstrations of affection… but don’t go over the top. While your older guy will probably enjoy holding hands or kissing in the street, he probably won’t like anything too physical. Also, call him by his name in public, and not a special nickname you have given him.
DO be yourself. If you find that you’re having to modify your behaviour, your interests or your body for your older guy, he’s definitely not the right one for you. Whether you’re serious and straightforward or adventurous and unpredictable, avoid the temptation to be or act the way you believe your man wants you to.
DO be open-minded about new experiences. Dating older men will expose you to new experiences and people. At the start of your relationship, you might want to avoid these situations, as fear of change or something different can be strong. However, if you are open-minded about these potential new experiences, you might actually enjoy a few of them. And the more things you can enjoy together, the greater the chance of your relationship succeeding in the long term.
The DON'TS of dating older men
DON’T patronise him about his maturing looks. For instance, don’t say how cute his wrinkles or grey hair look. And definitely don’t say he looks great for his age. If your man’s age is a major issue for you, you won’t be able to get past it.
DON’T complain about your own age. Again, bringing the obvious age gap up at every opportunity will make it a major issue — even if it isn’t right now.
DON’T make your older guy feel older than he is. You shouldn’t assume that he is into walking, reading and cardigans because he’s mature. In the early stages of your relationship, how do you know what he really likes. Don’t make assumptions about his likes and interests based on his age. Get to know him first, and take things from there.
DON’T assume he’s only after a trophy. A lot of women dating older men assume that their man is only with them because it’s an opportunity to have a hot young woman to show off. In truth, there are many reasons why older men are attracted to younger women, and looks is just one of them.
DON’T be possessive. Your older man probably has lots of female friends, accrued over many years. It is only right that he will want to keep this people in his life after getting together with you, so never make him choose. Give him space and freedom to enjoy time with his friendship circle, and he’ll always come back to you.
DON’T judge their interests or behaviour. An older guy will probably have very different interests to your own. While you may find playing chess or coastal walking a bore, you should never verbalise these thoughts in front of your man. If you’re just not into those pursuits, have an honest conversation about them, and you can both do your own thing occasionally.
DON’T worry about what people think. You will face a significant amount of prejudice when dating older men. But if your older guy makes you happy, who is anyone else to judge?
PRO TIP: Giving each other the freedom to spend time alone with friendship circles will make you appreciate your time together more, as well as give you lots to talk about when you meet up later.
Dating older men is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, it can take you on an exciting and rewarding journey of discovery. Just be aware that the age difference will play a role in the relationship at certain stages.