Fingering is one of those bedroom skills that all guys think they know. After all, how complicated can it be? Isn’t fingering just a minor part of foreplay before the real action begins? If you think like this, it’s time to take a step back. Many girls adore fingering, and it can be a great way to prepare her for a night of passion. It’s also something that you can enjoy anywhere, from parks to the beach – so never think of fingering as unimportant. Girls love to find out that their partner knows how to use his fingers to turn them on. For them, it’s not just a hassle that initiates sex, it’s an instrumental part of the experience, and a sign that guys are really serious about achieving sexual ecstasy. Here’s how to become a fingering maestro for anyone who wants to take their foreplay skills to another level.
The first thing to do when getting ready to finger a girl is to prepare your hands for the task. Give them a thorough clean and check that your nails aren’t too long before your date. Remove any dirt from underneath them too. Remember, you’re dealing with an incredibly sensitive part of your partner’s body – the vagina – and everything that touches it has an effect. You want to make sure that you create positive sensations from the start, and long nails can irritate her vagina.
Creating a romantic setting can help with any attempt at sexual stimulation, but particularly when you are trying to devastate her with your fingering technique. So add some scented candles and dim the lights if you like. However, there are more practical things to have on hand as well. Lube is hands-down the most important. When you finger a girl, you will be dealing with soft, fragile and sensitive tissues. Use lube to supplement her natural lubricant. This avoids any embarrassment should she dry out (which you should never, ever take personally - it happens). With lube on hand, you can keep the pleasure coming whatever happens.
Before you dive in, it’s vital to master the initial approach to fingering. Women don’t respond well to guys shoving their hands into their underwear or treating them roughly (well, some do, but most find it a turn-off). But they do adore being teased. It’s all part of the sexual game, so take a playful approach to initiating foreplay. Make some feigned approaches, moving your hand down her legs and across the small of her back. Kiss her across her neck and shoulders, nibble her ear or even her feet. Make her feel that something special is about to happen, but don’t act quickly. Wait for the moment to apply your fingers to her labia. She’ll let you know with her hands and gasps whether she wants you to go further.
Fingering isn’t a scatter-gun activity. You can just stick your finger into her vagina and expect results. In fact, the opposite is true. You need to be focused on certain parts of her sexual organs, and find out ways to make them throb with desire. For example, in the initial stages, tease her labia (the lips on the very outside of her vagina). Gently roll the fringes up and down, as if you are about to penetrate her. When you go deeper, you’ll find the inner labia. There’s no hair here, just sensitive, soft tissue, which responds best to gentle rubbing (and no sudden movements).
After that you can go deeper, and deeper. Now, you should be looking for the vaginal opening. This is located at the back of the cavity, inside the labia and down towards the anus. It’s where most of the magic happens during the female orgasm, and it’s an essential target for fingering masters, as it contains such a high concentration of nerve endings. When you find it, run your fingertips around the edge. Don’t be hasty. This is a real hotspot, creating overpowering sensations when stimulated properly. Gently, then more vigorously enter her vagina with your fingers. Use one, then two, but don’t be too quick.
Now let’s talk about the most important part of fingering technique - clitoral stimulation. There’s no single way to turn on a woman's clitoris with your fingers, so don’t assume that there is a magical technique that will work on anyone. You’ll probably need to experiment with different methods. However, there are some popular ideas that work more often than not. One thing that almost always works is to focus on her clitoris with two fingers, using them to gently rub in a circular motion. You should feel it gradually become larger, a sure sign of arousal. The key point about clitoral stimulation is restraint. The clitoris is a ball of nerve endings that takes very little to become stimulated. If you have built up to it, your touch should create an unstoppable release of sexual pleasure.
The clitoris is central, but there are other places to focus your touch. Chief among them is the fabled G-spot. The best way to find the G-spot is by entering her with an upturned palm. Now, extend your index finger or middle finger and gently make a "come here" kind of motion. If you find a slightly rougher bit of skin, you've hit the jackpot. Gently rub this area, and she will soon start to moan in pleasure.
Patience is something that all bedroom superstars possess. Even the most accomplished lovers realise that girls don't reach orgasm in seconds. They know that fingering can take up to 25 minutes to reach a breathless, earth-shattering conclusion, so they take their time. You need to do the same. Never put your partner under pressure to hurry. Always let her dictate the rhythm of your hands, and let her decide when to stop. Don't expect her to conclude in orgasmic rapture. That may well happen, but some girls just love to feel their lover working his magic, before moving onto the main event. Whatever you do, don't assume that quick, decisive movements will turn her on. That's not what fingering is about. It's an art form, not a race.
By following these tips, any guy should be able to master fingering techniques, transporting their partners to heights of sexual pleasure (and earning credit for their artistry and sensitivity in the process). Don't be a guy who assumes they have what it takes. Learn how to finger her like a pro, and you will reap the benefits.
Image sources Image 1 mocker_bat - Fotolia.com Image 2 Margarita Borodina - Fotolia.com