Are you feeling sexually depressed and unable to perform? If so, don’t despair! For millions of people around the world, maintaining a healthy libido is a real challenge, which is why humans have used aphrodisiacs for thousands of years. Now, thanks to modern science, we know all kinds of ways to boost your sexual prowess and help you rise to attention when it really counts.
The things we eat and drink can have a massive effect on our sex life, so give your body the best chance to perform by eating well. Stock up on vitamins A, B6, C and E – all of them are known to boost your sperm count and make your body more responsive to erotic stimuli. There are also foods that are known to boost the production of vital sex hormones like testosterone.
For example, fruits like strawberries, mangoes and bananas, seafood such as oysters and animal products like liver have aphrodisiac properties and could be the edge you need. Perhaps more importantly, cut back on fattening foods that can make you sluggish, and stay active in the gym to boost your energy levels. It all helps.
Sometimes, loss of libido can be a mutual problem caused by one or other partner just not being “in the mood” for intimacy. If the magic has evaporated from your bedroom intimacy, there are ways to artificially encourage a romantic mood.
Plan for nights in with scene-setting music, and food like chocolate. Don’t over-eat at your romantic dinners, and certainly don’t drink too much alcohol. Alcohol has a depressive effect on your sexual organs, so avoid drinking too much even if you feel the need for a little extra confidence.
If a romantic dinner doesn’t work, maybe costumes of uniforms will? For some people, sexual arousal is all about social cues. Some uniforms turn them on in ways that lingerie or nakedness doesn’t. The problem is that many people feel unable to discuss this kind of sexual desire with their partners, leading to dissatisfaction and frustration.
When it comes down to it, many women love to act out fantasies as much as guys – so don’t be shy. Ask your lover to play a role, or consider buying a uniform for them to wear. It could be a nurse, flight attendant, schoolgirl – anything that sets your pulse racing and your sex hormones flowing.
One of the major reasons for a dip in somebody’s libido is simple sexual boredom. If you stick with the same kind of sex with the same type of partner week in, week out, eventually something has to give. Either you retreat into a slow sexual decline, or experiment with different partners and bedroom behaviour. Why not try logging onto encounter sites to hook up with women from different cultures? Dip your toes into group sex, bondage fetishes or roleplays. Take a fuck buddy, or just play the field. Variety could be just what you need to restore your flagging libido.
This one is a sensitive issue for many couples and single people. If you have an erectile problem, or your partner shies away from committing themselves to regular sex, there could be psychological or physical reasons, and these could well be treatable.
Often, a drooping libido is intimately connected to mental health problems and depression, so consulting a psychiatrist with sexual expertise is a good idea. They can discuss your worries and recommend a course of treatment to boost your mood in general, which can have huge implications for your sexual vitality. Don’t let your depression fester and deepen – seeking help is always a good first step, and if nothing else you will find someone to talk to about your concerns.
Nowadays, testosterone supplements are becoming increasingly popular as a remedy for a lost libido. Testosterone isn’t just a male sex hormone, it is just as important in stimulating the desire of women for sexual contact. When it dips, the systems that spark erections and receptivity can collapse, leading to poor sexual performance and lack of desire – which is why supplements are often essential.
There are also natural ways to boost your hormones. Stopping smoking is a big help, while losing weight and staying sober are also beneficial. Try making love in the mornings as well. For men, mornings often see a peak in their testosterone production, making it a great (and under-rated) time to initiate sexual contact. It’s not all about sexy evenings in.
Interestingly, scientists have found that intense physical exercise has the effect of stimulating testosterone production. When you hit the gym to pound weights, you tend to tear muscle fibres, which then expand as they heal. This process of ripping and repairing your muscles stimulates testosterone production, leading to a burst of sexual potency that can last for hours. If nothing else, becoming leaner and stronger will also help you last for longer and be more physically powerful in bed, which can revolutionise your sex life.
This is really important if you want to be consistently horny and able to perform. Our bodies and minds are intimately linked, and you cannot separate your penis from your mind. When the mind is constantly worried about work, money, family or other distractions, it almost always has a damaging effect on our libido. So try to deal with any sources of stress – and talk to your partner about their own worries. The aim should be to find a way of both people feeling relaxed and ready for intimacy, without the shadow of external stress looming over them.
Sometimes, people are turned off by little details. It could be a plate of food by the side of the bed, photos of family or friends, or clothing strewn across the bedroom floor. Untidiness can unsettle people, and clutter can upset their equilibrium, so clean up before you lead your partner into the bedroom. Put away any photos, tidy up your books or CDs and air out your room for a couple of hours to freshen it up. You could even consider adding incense candles or flowers to the room to make it a more welcoming place to relax.
Libido is crucial to a fulfilling sex life, but it can be a difficult thing to nurture and protect, particularly as we get older. With these tips, you should be able to stay active and sexually hungry – allowing you to go on exploring your erotic fantasies and kick-start stagnant relationships.
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