Some people say that men are insensitive and that all they think about is sex. Well, that may be partly true, but they are certainly easy to turn-off as well. If you get the mood wrong, hurry things or say the wrong things at the wrong time, it can be impossible to rekindle the fire that swept you into bed. But by following the advice of sexual experts, you can always get him aroused and desperate to please you. It's not rocket science, but it does take a little practice if you want to become his perfect lover.
Poor communication in the bedroom is one of the biggest mood killers, but surprisingly few women take the time to find out exactly what their partners are looking for. Sometimes they are on the knees straight away, giving him what they think is a textbook blowjob, when all he really wanted was a massage to begin with. Don't have any preconceived notions about what turns guys on. Everyone is different, so don't be afraid to find out. Asking won't kill the atmosphere. He'll probably have some kinky ideas that could make the night even steamier.
Sex should be a two-way exchange of physical intimacy and pleasure, and if one partner is doing all the work, they will easily become frustrated, tired and bored. Some guys come across as macho and dominant, so it's easy to assume that they like passive women, but this is often deceptive. All guys adore women who show initiative and respond to their movements. Sometimes, there's nothing wrong with giving orders. Many guys have a hankering for discipline and obedience, but it's rare for women to be so decisive.
We've all been there. A guy has been trying his heart out, slaving away for half an hour, desperately seeking to please us. But at the end of the process, nothing happens. You don't reach the kind of orgasmic peak that his sexiness and effort deserves. It's then that you start acting. The female orgasm is a mystery, we all know that, but it doesn't help to fake it. If things aren't happening, don't go full Meg Ryan and put on a show. He'll know that you are just trying to please him, and it will lead to even more frustration. Instead, be honest. Tell him that these things happen, and try again in good faith when you are ready.
Many girls can't resist the urge to talk during sex. That's fine, up to a point. Guys sometimes need to be directed to the g-spot or told to ease up their pace. There's nothing wrong with that kind of talk, just like there's nothing wrong with letting your passion erupt in moans and groans. That's just human nature.
But what really turns guys off is constant chatter during sex. Many of us have been there. Our minds may have been on other things, or we might have been nervous. Either way, while a guy is working hard to please us, for some reason we haven't been able to stop chatting. If this happens to you, try to stay quiet. Let him concentrate on how to bring you to orgasm, and focus on him, instead of letting the outside world intrude.
I know that guys are more famous for hitting the sack with dust and dirt still left over from the working day, but women are just as culpable at times. When guys go down on you, they'll know if you haven't had a shower all day, and for most (but not all) of them it's a major turn-off. So try to find time for a quick wash before sex. You could even shower together. It can be the ideal way to get in the mood for a night of passion soon after.
Sometimes, women just aren't in the mood, and sex is either boring, frustrating or uncomfortable. It's tempting to disconnect from your partner at times like this, leaving him in the dark about why you feel so distant and why your relationship isn't catching fire. This distance is a big mistake. Even if you feel like being on your own or disconnecting, try to remind him that you love him, physically and emotionally, and reassure him that you will be in the mood and horny tomorrow. Never leave him concerned and mystified about why the night hasn't gone as planned.
Some guys want to go as far as they can, and they will do anything if you give them the chance. It's never a good idea to give into their desires without putting your foot down and setting your own personal boundaries about things like anal, oral sex or contraception. It's not just a safety and dignity issue. It's also about keeping him interested. If you give in straight away to an assertive, horny guy, they will rapidly lose interest. For that kind of guy, it's the conquest that matters, and his passion will subside when you give him what he wants. Unless, that is, you act firmly and give him something to react against. That way, he'll constantly keep coming back for new sexual explorations.
One of the biggest turn-offs for guys is women who are unimaginative and dull. So why not vary your sex life by suggesting different places to be intimate around your house? Whether it's the shower or the kitchen table, guys love the role playing element of sex outside the bedroom. It may be because they haven't fully grown up, but if you mix sex and play, guys always seem to respond well. You could even try public sex if that's what takes your fancy. But never feel that the bed is the only place to have sex. These days, guys have broader imaginations than ever, and you probably do to - so use them!
Satisfying a guy isn't always easy, but if you follow these ideas, you will definitely stand more chance of keeping your partner interested.
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