We've all thought about it, whether we like to admit it or not. What would it be like to date more than one person, to sleep with someone one day and then roam right across town to do the same with someone else the very next night or even the same day!
However, usually, our own conditioned sense of social conformity rebels at the possibility of such an arrangement. That would make me the bad guy, we tell ourselves. Why? Because I watched that romantic comedy and the guy with two girlfriends was definitely the bad guy! What if we told you that multi-dating can be a healthy and rewarding way to experience sex, love or both, that is enjoyable for both the man and the women involved!
Well, thankfully, we're here to provide some answers. But before we begin, make no mistake. Multiple partners is not a modern invention. People have been hooking up with more than one somebody for as far back as people go! That said, it may be the case that modern analysis of human wants and relationship dynamics have enabled us to do it in a way that is newly beneficial for everyone involved.
So: What follows is a couple of key tips for how to manage things in a way the works
The most important part is usually the part people can't make themselves believe. Be honest?!
How can I be honest with her about seeing someone else? The truth is that the best way to manage multi-dating is to set the terms from the get go. Be upfront with what you are in this for. You can even go so far as to have a frank conversation about things after a couple of weeks experiencing each others company.
Most people won't do this because they are afraid the answer will be a profound 'no' and will herald the end of their nice time together. This is a bad angle to come at multi-dating from. The reality is that not everyone will be in to the idea of an open relationship.
Your job is to find out which ones are and which ones aren't. The easiest way to do that is to be upfront about yourself and your wants. Once they know the score they can make an informed decision. If they say no, okay, go look for someone else. But if they say yes you've got the makings of something really great.
Oh, and side note, being truly honest and open with someone about your desires can be a potent aphrodisiac. It shows confidence, courage and an acceptance of who you are and what you are about. Male or female, people dig this!
If you don't want her to be your girlfriend, don't act like her boyfriend. A lot of men make the mistake of getting a 'yes' to the all important question of an open relationship and then proceeding to treat the girl like she is the only one on the planet. That means flowers, romantic evenings that don't involves sex and texts that offer her a confidant.
Cut that out! It might sound harsh but in reality the opposite is the case. If you say you want things open and then act in a way that expresses the opposite you are sending mixed signals that can confuse her and will ultimately end up hurting her.
Again, be honest about you desires and act in accordance with them. Some men are so one-note in their behavior around women that they don't know another way to be except for boyfriend-mode. If this is new to you too then you should look at this as a chance to experiment and explore your own emotional and physical needs. You might be surprised by the reaction you get. People can sense dishonesty and even emotional dissonance in a person. When you show yourself to be in touch with your own mental and emotional core, people will be drawn to you without realizing it.
Make no mistake about it, dating multiple individuals takes a lot of energy and effort. When you add in all the other stresses in your life it can be tempting to focus in a one girl and start slipping into boyfriend mode out of a desire for ease and comfort. Do not do this! If you have decided that this really is the girl for you and you want a committed relationship that is something different.
But if you are doing this because it is easier to stay in and watch Netflix while cuddling a girl you are comfortable with than going out and meeting new women then you had better wake up to yourself and the consequences. Ultimately, that that is going to end up hurting her and blowing up in your face.
Don't get us wrong, multi-dating is not for everyone. It takes a lot of time, energy and emotional resources to find and juggle women you are attracted to who are also emotionally available for an open relationship. There will be bumps along the way and, inevitably, some women are going to get their feelings hurt and you might end up damaging yours as well.
That said, multiple relationships can be an amazing way to experience sides of yourself and the opposite sex that you've never seen before. And make no mistake, experience leads to character, confidence and personality. At the end of things, you will have grown in ways that will surprise you and people who know you.
So, is it worth it? Totally!