Think single moms are excluded from the “desire” pool? Think again. As a single mom, you’re perhaps in the best position you can be in. You have a life, a loved one to take care of, great girlfriends and, probably, a career you’re interested in advancing.
In this kind of life situ, the best idea for you to get intimate has probably already occurred to you” casual, NSA sex. But the question is, how do you find NSA sex as a single mom? If you’ve been out of the dating scene for some time, getting back can be intimidating — especially after a pregnancy.
As a single mom, you probably have a score of other priorities but you can take heart in the fact that you live in the age of the internet. It has never been easier to find a mate, whether online or in the real world, to hook up with, who may be looking for casual sex at the same time as you.
Just make sure to be incredibly clear, going in, what kind of relationship you’re looking for. Ask yourself if you’d like to have NSA sex with one person consistently and over time or if you’re okay with a different person each time.
If you’re using an online app or website, make sure that the first thing you’re not putting out is that you’re looking to hook up. This will inevitably draw out the creepies, the ones that will spam you (and every other lady around) in the hopes that their constant barrage of messages will wear you down.
Just because you’re a single mom does not mean you don’t get to be selective. Instead, get choosy with what a potential partner is looking for. Narrow your searches based on other people who have listed they’d be interested in casual sex. That way, it’s right up front but you’re not necessarily pointing to it with a big, neon sign.
At the same time, you want to be completely up front and open — not just with your sexual preferences and what kind of encounter or relationship you’re looking for, but also about your marital status.
If you think it’s important to disclose to you that you have a child, do so. Lay some boundaries if you feel you must. You can let your potential partner know that you’re a mother but that this is a casual, NSA sex situation and so he won’t be meeting your child. Or, if you’ve met because of your children (perhaps he’s a single parent as well), then make sure to talk about how that will factor in to the terms of your encounter (or plural, if it gets good!)
Women have all sorts of hang-ups about their bodies. This is no surprise. Neither is the fact that, after being a mother and giving birth, these insecurities can increase tenfold.
Take this opportunity of engaging in NSA sex as a chance to reconnect with your body, post partum. Whether it’s been years since you gave birth and you’re a single mom to a 10 year old or its only been about a year or so, fall back in love with your body.
As for your partner during NSA sex? Use candlelights. Engage in oral. Mix it up. But bear in mind: he has a naked lady in front of him, willing to engage in sex all night, and enthusiastically. Any man worth his salt is going to consider that a win — and so should you!
Just because you’re having NSA sex, doesn’t mean you don’t get to be involved in foreplay. While there’s no need to get personal and start meeting each other’s friends and families, you can always keep his number on speed dial for a quick night-time cap or even to send him texts.
Talking in between your encounters about your desires will make you excited and looking forward to the next time you see him, rather than intimidated. It will definitely make the two of you more comfortable.
This is your chance to really let go and explore your desires with a partner who’s not likely to turn into a co-parent or father of your children. So take it and run! The best advice for single moms who want to have NSA sex is for you to really live in the moment. You spend all day serving another person (or people!) but in bed, you get to come first.
Don’t be shy about getting kinky, if that’s what you’re into. All desires are valid, including yours. As usual, talk it out with your partner and keep it light and fun.
Did you know that a great place to hook up with other single men is play groups and other affairs at your child’s school? There’s no harm in scoping out men for NSA sex who are also parents. Just like you, they have desires and a libido and, the best part, is that you might actually connect and find some common ground, sharing stories and experiences about being parents.
Try and leave introductions to your kids out of it, however, especially if you know this is going to remain NSA sex.
So many single moms, while they’re out and having fun, also have one thought on their child. No man will ever have all of your heart again. And you know what? That’s ok. You don’t need to feel guilty that you’re out and having fun while your child is at home with a sitter or your family. Know that you are a good, responsible mom who has earned, if anything, the right to blow off some steam.
Even mothers are women and they absolutely have the right to please and be pleased the way they like. So spare half a thought on your child —because you’re a good single mom like that — and then immerse yourself into the moment completely.
Women are so many complex things in one day: moms, sisters, friends, therapists, leaders in their careers — the list goes on.
But they’re also, on the inside, girls who just want to have fun. As a single mom, you should revel in the fact that your options are relatively open and you’re living in the best time in history. There’s no one around to judge you for your desires — so you shouldn’t be the one who’s judging herself. Get out there, have fun and practice safer NSA sex.
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