We've all been there: you've got a gorgeous new partner and everything's going amazingly. The conversation has been great, the date venue was perfect, and there was even plenty of chemistry between you. The stage has been set for something truly special in the bedroom, but wait.
When you actually get there, something's wrong. Instead of leaping on them like an animal, the two of you act like you've just met. The whole night fizzles out in a disappointing attempt to make love. So what went wrong?
These tips will help you wow partners with your sexual prowess right from the start.
Have you seen movies where all the action happens right at the end, but you still can't tear your eyes away from the screen for two hours beforehand?
Well, here's the thing: the same rules of suspense apply to the start of sexual relationships, particularly for women. If you have a guy who is obviously keen and can't wait to get you into bed, try to put it off for a couple of dates, but signal that you intend to sleep with him.
He'll still wonder about what you'll be like and the anticipation will cause his libido to rise and rise, sending him into a sexual frenzy when the time comes to deliver. Try not to spontaneously sleep together. A little suspense always works wonders.
Of course, if you decide to make your partner wait for the main event, there's no reason why you can't get to know each other physically. Don't be afraid to take each other home, share a glass of wine and explore each others' bodies. That's part of building up anticipation, for both of you. Play with each other, have oral sex: it all builds up an image of how sex will feel when it actually happens, and it's this desire that makes sexual intercourse so incredible. Don't let it dissipate by jumping the gun.
OK, OK. Suspense is all well and good, but there are times when you just can help falling into each others arms, and that's often a very good idea.
Why? Great sex often comes as the culmination of a conversation, during which two strangers discovered their unique connection. If you've been in a restaurant all evening sharing stories and looking into your partner's eyes.
If you've felt that they knew things about you that no-one else had ever found out, then sex on the first date actually makes sense. In fact, it's essential. Capture the moment when it comes, and turn it into raw sexual passion.
But beware: this kind of date isn't the rule. It usually takes a few nights of drinks or conversation to really get to know people.
We've more or less established that waiting for a few dates is a great precursor to fantastic sex (unless you've struck gold and met up with your soul mate).
But the question remains: how long is too long? Could you accidentally turn your date off by keeping them waiting, and waiting, and waiting? As most of us know, the answer is yes.
Don't get hung up on your ability to keep someone in suspense. After the third date, it's time to make your move. By then, if the two of you really have a karmic connection, you'll both be ravenous for sex.
This one applies more to girls than guys, and it could be a deal breaker. When you've decided to make your play, make sure that you dress in a way that turns your partner on. That doesn't mean wearing ridiculously low cut tops or short skirts on the date (although some sexual signals like that will set the scene).
What it means is wearing your sexiest lingerie underneath, so that your guy can move through stages of sexual lust, relentlessly rushing towards sexual passion. After a few dates with nothing happening, or a little foreplay, he'll be unable to resist you, and some sexy lingerie could send him over the edge.
Emotional and physical connections are essential, but here's the crazy thing: the environment you have sex in matters just as much, especially on the first date. Think about this carefully. Does your partner have flatmates who could disrupt your date? Who's pad is the quietest, most secluded place to get it on? And what about hotels?
Room service after sex could round off an incredible start to your sexual adventure. If you do stick to your apartment, scented candles, some romantic music and a fine wine always help to set things off smoothly, and they are worth a small investment, believe me.
Although we want a rush of sexual energy to sweep over us when we first have sex with someone, that doesn't mean rushing towards full penetration. Take your time. Spend an hour embracing, kissing each other, masturbating each other or having oral sex. If your preparations have gone well, the sense of suspense will be reaching a crescendo with every touch. Don't waste the moment. Draw it out until there's no chance of resistance.
Even if everything has gone to plan, the results might not be the unforgettable orgasm you've been planning for. That's just the way our bodies work, right? The thing to remember is that you've only been on a few dates. It's hardly even a relationship, and it's not hard to walk away, get back online and find a new date to start afresh.
Sure, it's important to try to make your first sexual encounter as enjoyable and unforgettable as possible, but let's be realistic: sometimes people just don't "click". With plenty more dates around, don't get hung up on one girl or guy.
First sex is one of the crucial milestones in any relationship, and it has to be done right. With these tips, you should be able to begin your next relationship with an out of this world orgasm. Just take your time, create some suspense and plan your moves on the big day, and you'll have the time of your life!