You've all heard the disaster stories about dating in the office. While these relationships may seem exciting in the beginning, there are many ways in which they can (and do) go wrong.
Apart from often being frowned upon by management and colleagues, an office relationship often breaks down, leaving both people feeling uncomfortable and the whole office talking! But there are also many wonderful success stories-where the office romance has bloomed into successful business partnerships, great marriages or philanthropic partnerships.
Many colleagues have found a way to celebrate their attraction to one another, cleverly navigate the office-politics and keep their behavior professional while at the office -even if their relationship doesn't work out.
So, how... can you ensure that you keep your luscious lover and your job?
Take it very slowly - It will be tempting, it will feel steamy - but if you've realised that you are attracted to somebody at work, it's best to take it at a snail's pace. You need to be sure of your feelings before you proceed to the next step.
You also need to be sure of how your potential date feels about you! This will prevent you acting on your emotions too quickly and creating a situation that you may not be prepared to follow through on. Part of the attraction of an office-romance is how illicit it feels, so make sure that you really like your office-mate and aren't just infatuated.
If the person is your boss, it may be best to avoid a relationship with them altogether!
Always sleep on it and get to know them as a friend first.
Create a backup plan that kicks in if things don't work out. Try to project yourself into the future and consider the consequences of what may happen if things don't work out with your love-interest. Will it create an uncomfortable situation or result in animosity with your colleague or his friends who you may work with, or result in vindictiveness that will see you getting fired?
These can be serious issues and nowhere near as much fun as a short, sharp fling that was just based on sex or thrilling adventures to stave off office boredom. That often proves not to have been worth it. Also consider how you might feel if you don't pursue the relationship!
Will you be happy to let the idea of the relationship go? Will you be able to handle never giving it a shot and seeing the person start a love affair with someone else?
To tell or not to tell? Should you inform your boss and co-workers? Yes. You should make sure that important players in the office know about the budding relationship. This includes your supervisor, boss and colleagues that work closely with you.
That will take the surprise out of the news and avoid people feeling betrayed or concerned about how this might affect your work performance or professionalism between you and your colleague. Provide as few details as possible, and make sure to express that your behavior at work will not change or be impacted.
Tell as few people as possible and request that people don't gossip about it as this is not professional office behaviour.
Yes, it may seem exciting to dash into the cleaning cupboard for a quick kiss or feel but don't do it! Getting caught being inappropriate is a very real possibility and this may place your jobs in jeopardy and create the worst reputation at work.
If you work in the same space as your love-interest, avoid flirtatious behavior or losing focus on your work. If you have an argument, don't let this spill over into your conduct at work! If the relationship ends, avoid bad-mouthing your colleague.
Beware the office snitch or nasty co-workers and keep them out of your relationship. Don't discuss your colleague at work and keep them out of any issues between you and your love-interest.
Be very careful of asking them to take sides and don't tell them the intimate details, whether you had a fight or the best sex ever-keep it to yourself!
Never piggy-back on your lover's influence at work for professional advancement. Make sure that whatever you achieve at work depends on your own hard work, professionalism and efforts.
If you achieve power and prestige at work, you want, one day to be able to say that you did this on your own. You also don't want to give a rejected lover the power to say that you used them to move upward in your career or wouldn't be there without them. You will also retain the respect of your colleagues.
Don't talk about sex at work or work at home.
It will become tempting to blur the boundaries of your professional and personal relationship and you need to be mindful of how damaging this can be to your personal and professional life.
Never bring your work between the covers and never bring personal details into the office -especially your sex life.
Avoid becoming that girl or guy who dates her boss or her junior employees or "only dates colleagues" This is the worst kind of reputation and will soon see you viewed as a professional climber who uses people to get to the top.
If your relationship doesn't work out, don't immediately start dating another colleague or, worse, your boss.
Start seeing people outside of the office and join clubs and groups to expand your social circle.
Make sure that you maintain outside friendships and interests so that your life doesn't revolve solely around your working life and office romance. Remember that things may not work out and you may decide to move on from both your ex-lover and the office.
A fresh start can even be a healthy way to avoid becoming enmeshed in the situation. In this case, you will be glad for the friendships, outside interests and bonds formed with a wider social and family circle, who can support you in the changes you want to make.